i. at seventeen, i should know that
the world isn't always beautiful and
that life isn't always lovely and
i shouldn't ever change the way i am
for the sake of a teenage boy,
but yesterday augustus told me that
there is something beautiful in death
and in that moment,
i wanted nothing more than to stand
on the edge of a cliff and feel my feet
get swept out from underneath me

ii. i have never seen something as
breathtaking as the constellations that
lit up the night sky. they shimmered
and sparkled in the same way that
augustus' eyes did before he kissed me
and i never had to ask him if he liked
the stars because i knew. they were *****
of old light from dead bodies that
floated around the universe and i hope
that even after i pass that i do not stop
floating around augustus' mind.

iii. when i die, i do not want to be
buried within the cold ground because
even though the earth is enchanting
and i wouldn't mind becoming part of it,
i do not want augustus to forget me.
i hope he scorches my body with the flame
that burned in our hearts for
so many years and that he keeps me
on the nightstand so that he will
be able to wake up every morning with
a smile on his face because he would still
be waking up to what he had once said was
the most beautiful thing a person
could wake up to.