I am a prisoner,
A criminal,
in the prison that I created in my head to keep me safe.

I was a guard,
I was in control,
But I made too many mistakes and became a criminal.
A criminal that gets told what to do
Wake up,
Eat,
Work,
Eat,
Work,
Sleep,
Everyday,
Nothing different.

I’ve lost control,
The villain, Fear and Anxiety, have won,
They control everything,
Creating too many rules,
Don’t say anything,
Say something,
Don’t say that,
Say something different,
Don’t eat that,
Stop eating,
Wear this,
Don’t wear that,
Don’t go out in public,
I can’t follow all of them,
Overwhelmed,
Increased heart rate,
Can’t breathe,
Help me escape,
behind bars no one can really help me,
They don’t see
see the uniform that I’m forced to wear,
see the metal bolted to my mouth to keep me from talking.

I’m scared to break the rules,
They keep me on a pedestal for them to laugh at me while I try,
For their enjoyment,
Forcing me into opposite directions,
Pulling me apart,
Piece by piece,
Until there’s nothing left.