We've all had them from time
to time, I often think it is due
to what we consumed the day
previous.

(I never swallow chewing gum)

I say that, because I was highly
amused when Dr.Spock told
Capt. Kirk that Clingons had
been sited around Uranus.

But let us get back to the Asterisk
and the subject at hand, wiping.

Howard Hughes walked through
the interview room to his office,
closed the door and told his secretary
to go and tell the man with the odd
socks, that he got the job?

All a bit ambivalent indeed, but, there
was a method to his madness, because
that particular applicant had shown a
certain inventiveness when confronted
with the problem of a toilet without paper.

It was many the time I resorted to the auld
hand in the sock number myself, so I knew
exactly the meaning of that metaphor.

Each of our fingers has a distinctive role to
play in the anatomy of our lives. Imagine
holding a six pack, thumb and *******,
that same finger which is used to express
the **** analogy when we are expressing our
scorn at someone.

During the war, a man had part of his finger
shot off. His bandaged hand revealed little,
so when a visitor enquired!

" Is it the whole finger " ?

The soldier replied,

No, the one next to it.

I have gone off on a tangent.

So, let's get down to the unwipeable ****
and see can we shed any light on this topic
of the unspokeable.

There is a solution, because not everyone
wears socks or underwear and there is no
sink or tap in the cubicle, perhaps not even
a visible cistern by which one could lift the
lid and have a bed bath.

Worry not, if the deed be already done
because every shoe has a tongue or insole.
The latter is by far the best answer.

Take it out and fold it a spatula form,
then use it as a scraper, the second
one should finish off the job.

Make your way to a hotel or bar and
congratulate your ingenuity with a
double Jameson and a pint of Genius.