I mean, what would they do
without the crown and half
crown, not to mention the queen's
visits to Balmoral when Charles
puts on his kilt just to keep the
jocks happy, but it is really an
apron to keep his knees free of
the slime he has to contend with
when pretending to like haggis.

The Scots will never vote leave,
they would much rather be subjects
than citizens, some people seem to
think they like being shafted, you
know, Ben Doon and Phil McCavity,
perhaps why they wear nought
underneath, och aye, the wee lassies
could tell ye a thing or two about it,
sometin fishy about that Sturgeon.