Talking to you is terrifying
Maybe it wouldnt be so bad if I actually had the courage to finally open up your message
But I've done that before and it just got scarier from there
I dont want to be alone
But I dont want to talk to you
You are perfect in all the ways I am not
And yet you are flawed in all the ways I could never be
Some would say that we'd be a good fit
And perhaps we would if I saw you again
Instead I'll just repeat the same apologies over and over
Disinterest
Cause my mind is on someone else?
That would be a part of it
Cause I've put off talking to you so long that I've developed a complex
Another part
That the cloud that used to follow me from a distance now looms over my head and drains me
A bigger ordeal
I think you were better as an idea
Someone I could admire from afar
The way I would have as a preteen
I did want to know more about you
And maybe you wouldve told me
But I dont think I want any of it anymore
I dont want you to know about me
And I dont want to talk