I am confused

my words are
a mumble

a mass or a mess

hysteria or
histrionics

today

the good soldiers
of my mind are AWOL

nothing is lining up
my mind is a rave

I am looking for
some thing, any thing

but the meaning that
creates a thing

lives in the shadows

the meaning that
creates a thing

lives in the
space between

and today

I can’t even
define light
and dark

nothing is that clear

today

I am without
that mysterious force

that creates things
and holds things together

that bends the will
for good or for ill

I am confused

today