Many times I looked through
the spaghetti strainer grid in
a dark church on my knees
trying to think of a sin that I
never committed just so I was
fulfilling my Catholic obligation
before receiving holy eucharist
the following Sunday morning.

Three Hail Mary's and an Act of
Contrition was the standard
penance for minor misdemeanours.

I never even considered telling a
Priest that I promised to wait for
you outside the cinema after the
afternoon matinee but went to the
pub instead.

I heard later that you stood in the
rain, that your mascara ran down
your face, that you went home wet,
that you made up and excuse to
defend me and protect yourself from
that sense of shame I brought on you.

I am reading your headstone, green
moss stains are running over your
name, I am wet and deservedly so.

This is my confession, there is nobody
around to give me penance, I must bear
my pain and deservedly so.

Guilt by omission, I didn't even consider
it as being a sin, it is a black secret that I
am unable to share, and deservedly so.