I’m known to be outgoing
To be the bubbly one
To be the first one to initiate
Well
I’m tired of it
Tired of feeling like I need to continue
Being all those things
Truth is
I just want to do the opposite
I want to be silent
I want to be the not-so outgoing  person
I want to be the not-so bubbly person
I want to hesitate and wait and see
If the other is willing to initiate
But I notice that when I try to do this
Others become uncomfortable
In my silence
In my unresponsiveness
Yet I relish in it
I no longer want to feel as though
I need to work for others
To want to be with me
To want to get to know me
I just want to learn to be the listener
Not the speaker
For once
I just want to learn to be the observer
Not the one too busy entertaining
To observe
I just want to try to be the invisible silhouette  
For once
Not only the spotlighted show
Who is pitied by me
Dying for anyone to pay attention