Mallow is high, built on a
hill overlooking the River
Blackwater, a tributary of
The Atlantic Ocean, it is a
liquid schizophrenic which
has the temperament of an
Italian on a Vespa before his
first shot of sugary LavAzza.

Circa 950 AD. an Irish Celt
deduced that every time he
built a hut near the edge of
this oscillating reservoir, he
developed hydrophobia.

His name was Willie Eaton,
a plaque to his wisdom can
be seen below the water line
under the arch of the bridge.

Those flooding's existed long
before Global Warming, so I
have no idea why in the name
of **** anyone is listening to

           Gretta Humbug.