While I was trying to sleep last night
I realized something.
I am not worthy of his goodness.
I know he doesn’t know the darkest sides of me
the side I pushed down and hide
The monster within, my devil on the shoulder

Demons who are evil
has done more good than me
I am broken and damaged
My heart is broken in two
A better representative it's shattered

I do like you a lot in fact
I am falling in love with you
And I know I’m ugly, possessive, and stupid
I’m also selfish and rude.

I Know that I ruin everything I  touch
But I can’t help but touch him
The force, a gravitational pull
Pulling at my heart
And yet I know the outcome

I’ll end up chipping a piece of my heart
Only to have it fall into the dark and evil obsess
Known as my soul. And never be returned
As for where you searched my soul willingly
To find and embrace who I am
Broken and damaged.

I know that red tulips are
Representations of undying love. But what if
It’s not the love that dies but me?
Would he care? Or even be grazed by it?
Would it hurt him as much as it would hurt me?

As if he could stay for long
Once he sees the broken and shattered soul I bare he’ll run
And hide never to be found again.
So I don’t know what I’d be doing
Without him by my side would I be here
Would I choose to live on?

Would he want that
After I ruin his life, unwillingly
I never knew what it was like to do this but
I can’t say I’m surprised by it
He acts as if he cares for my well being.
But what if my well being isn’t well?
Would I choose to bother him about it?
Would I be that burden he has to carry