as i try to exhale, it seems as if my lungs shake,
making the breath that hesitantly leave me makes me feel uncertain.
you'd think that since i've breathed like this for as long as i can remember that it's become a home for me,
it doesn't.
something inside me tells me that something is wrong,
that the uneasiness of my breath isn't normal.
i stared into nothing when my breathing would get shaky.
my limbs go numb and the world in front of me would move in slow motion,
i could feel it all spinning and i felt everyone's heartbeat.
sometimes my head would stop running thoughts and for this 5 second exhale, i would forget and sometimes it was enough.