Every life is special. There's no such life that isn't special. Pessimistically or Optimistically, life is still a special one. Don't blame life--it's just because of fate. Fate may be cruel--though it's just it wants you to experience something. Something that you didn't expect or hope for. And speaking of special, yes, you are special too. Don't say that you shouldn't have lived or born in this world. Don't say that it's your fault. No one is at fault. It's just a coincidence or maybe just a sign in your life. Don't sulk over petty things. You may have lost someone you love in your life, you have to hoist yourself and keep moving. Staying on the situation where you have too many problems-- is kind of absurd, man. I am not saying this because I didn't undergo what you've been through... But I am saying this because-- you are a special person like me that even our Lord God still cares even if we've sinned too much in our life.