It was such a strange thing as a young boy
To make your way with an eye to the future
To think about adulthood with the eyes of a child
And to set a path without knowing the cost

And the way life makes these choices more stark
Like when you bury your father as a teenager
Decide to put on a uniform before you can drink
Sent to war before you know yourself truly

You suffer through a limbo of loneliness and haze
Numb your pain with the medicine they give you
Promise that you are okay and couldn’t be better
Just in the process of healing but falling deeper

Pick yourself up and brush yourself off
Start a new life in the family you always knew
Pretend you have it all figured out now
And start that family you wanted from day one

Plunge into something you swore was right
Take your vow and shut your mouth
Turn off the voice that says it’s not
Enter into a state of stasis devoid of passion

From your greatest mistake your greatest gift
A little girl who is too much all her own
But not free of the mistakes you already made
Now sentenced to a life you never wanted for her

The death of a love you swore to uphold
Ripped from your fingers and no chance to hold
The betrayal from the one you didn’t trust fully
Setting you on a road all your own again

Took 37 years to find the one you thought
Now dust yourself and start all over
Add another perfect soul to the ledger
Because it’s all a waste if she’s not loved