I might bungee jump that ravine
But I probably shan’t

I could base-jump squirrel-like
And glide far, far down—or not

I might mount Everest—
(I just made a Sherpa laugh)

Swimming with whale sharks?
I would be there, maybe

With an aqualung
Come along, anyone?

I’ve counted to 21 millionteen
More than just once

I’ve swam over 10 kylemeters
With no one watching

I’ve traversed so very many sidewalks
All my heads spin and spin and win

I could climb that shrub
Without carabiners

If I wanted too—
But I won’t

I could scale that wall
Without proper ID, but no

I could leap tall buildings
Sans nose or red cape

But I shan’t…
Shoulda, woulda, coulda?

Put your camera phones down
I’m my own hero, ******