My parents carry regret and insecurity everywhere they go
When they first open their eyes in the morning
When they close them at night
And every moment in between
Guilt and doubt sit on the edge of their bed

My mothers eyes hold back years of trauma
Abuse from her childhood
Abuse from herself
Cowering in the shadow of her present self
Stuck somewhere in the past, she can't move forward

My father holds nothing back
His sharp words telling me I'll never get it right
Making me feel small and insignificant like a penny in the road
I don't think I could ever love or respect this man
It's so hard to see into his mind and through his eyes

But I know he is insecure in the same ways as me
He doesn't want to feel useless or be forgotten
He is afraid of failure and blame
He's is also cowering in the shadow of his past
Stuck somewhere inside himself, he can't climb out

My eyes carry hope and determination
My favorite words to hear are "I'm proud of you"
Because I never thought I would ever hear it from my parents
But I am older now
Mature enough to know that pride doesn't need to be spoken from someone else

While my parents are trapped in the past,
I'm lost in the future
Too busy dreaming of possibilities to see the present
A beam of light hangs over me, distracting me
I'm too captivated to look away and see ahead of me

We are all trapped and isolated inside ourselves
We are roses grown in sand
Blaming each other for our own lost vibrancy
We are butterflies without wings
Judging each other for why we can not fly