I have figured it out and I have a plan:
I will not **** myself before I see Nebraska.
I picked there because it is the last place
I could think of wanting to go
Flat nothingspace in the middle of America,
And this is how I’m gonna avoid my death
I will better my life, I will find traveling companions,
I will save up my money and It’s gonna take years to do so;
I will add years to my life
With how many places there are to see first.

I want to climb to the parthenon
I want to sip tea in Japan
I want to pick fruits and eat them at roadside stands across the county
Think of them always and never go there again even though I mean to.
My house will be filled with nothing but
kitschy travel mugs and tourist trap souvenirs
Stacks of postcards to my mother that I will
not have sent in the mail because postage is very expensive, you know.
So im just gonna have to come back home every time I want to send one
place each one in her hands Individually.
and give kiss her on the cheek
Describe them and read them aloud to her if she needs the help.
And they’ll say things like
“The food here reminded me of you”
Or “met a singer on the street today who sang that song you loved to sing when i was young”
Or “I'm thinking of you, of course. I’m being safe, of course”
Or “did you remember to take your medicine”
Or “I'll write you more soon”
And I'll never have the time to visit there at all.