No one wants to be here
they’d all rather be
at home with their own dinner
or maybe setting up the tree

The turkey has gone dry
the stuffing’s burnt and crispy
Aunt Tully’s drunk and slurring
to avoid her daughters hissy

The gravy’s congealed and cold
just like Uncle Sam’s heart
Sally knew she shouldn’t have come
this was a disaster from the start

Words across the table
like bombs and laser beams
let’s hope the littles
have no idea what they mean

Thanksgiving is a disaster
it’s like a raging war
better prepare for Christmas
if you make it that far