Nov 2019
dear you,
im hurting so much. i don’t know what to do. you gave me an idea of what it could be to fall for someone again and when i finally figured that i should give back, you started drifting away. it started with you being busy and then you just slowly don’t text as much as you did before.
i’m sorry if i lashed out, for being honest. for telling you that im hurt. because you told me you could put up with it. you told me it’s okay. you told me that u like me. but i guess you’re now starting to regret ever saying those words because i don’t even hear u say it anymore. you’re not assuring me that you’ll be here. that you’ll stay.
my friend told me that i should go all out. that i should start loving and making an effort to fall for u even if it hurts. im doing that now. i learned that i should just give out love because once i get tired, it’s gone. but i don’t think mine will just be gone.
im giving out 80% now that you’re giving 20%. it hurts so much. i never thought actually telling u that i like u ever helped. it’s as if, you’re done playing with me. was this all a joke? u got the *** since we were both *****. but is that it?
i know ur going through a lot of problems now and i dont want to be part of it. but the more i try to disassociate myself as part of your problems, slowly im becoming one.
u know what hurts? when u told me na ur disappointed in urself because you cant keep up with my efforts. the fact that u know it and cant follow through hurts so much. but i will stay. ive never given myself fully to a person so if u suddenly tell me na u dont like me anymore, then i wont have any regrets, let this be my way of testing my own limits. on how long i can stay till i finally realize this is worth it.
retrograde is ending in three days. im afraid that when it ends, our relationship will too. and u know what scares me? if we do end, in three days, ull go on with ur life the way it should be and mine will never be the same again.
as if from the very beginning i was only an option. a game u won but for u has no bearing.
but in the bright side, retrograde is ending in three days. im excited that when it ends, our relationship will start fresh again. and if we do start again in three days, we’ll go on with our lives the way it should be and both will never be the same again.
telling me from the very beginning i wasn’t an option. i am your choice. we stopped playing the game.
im hurting so much. i don’t know what to do. you gave me an idea of what it could be to fall for someone again and when i finally figured that i should give back, you started drifting away. it started with you being busy and then you just slowly don’t text as much as you did before.
i’m sorry if i lashed out, for being honest. for telling you that im hurt. because you told me you could put up with it. you told me it’s okay. you told me that u like me. but i guess you’re now starting to regret ever saying those words because i don’t even hear u say it anymore. you’re not assuring me that you’ll be here. that you’ll stay.
my friend told me that i should go all out. that i should start loving and making an effort to fall for u even if it hurts. im doing that now. i learned that i should just give out love because once i get tired, it’s gone. but i don’t think mine will just be gone.
im giving out 80% now that you’re giving 20%. it hurts so much. i never thought actually telling u that i like u ever helped. it’s as if, you’re done playing with me. was this all a joke? u got the *** since we were both *****. but is that it?
i know ur going through a lot of problems now and i dont want to be part of it. but the more i try to disassociate myself as part of your problems, slowly im becoming one.
u know what hurts? when u told me na ur disappointed in urself because you cant keep up with my efforts. the fact that u know it and cant follow through hurts so much. but i will stay. ive never given myself fully to a person so if u suddenly tell me na u dont like me anymore, then i wont have any regrets, let this be my way of testing my own limits. on how long i can stay till i finally realize this is worth it.
retrograde is ending in three days. im afraid that when it ends, our relationship will too. and u know what scares me? if we do end, in three days, ull go on with ur life the way it should be and mine will never be the same again.
as if from the very beginning i was only an option. a game u won but for u has no bearing.
but in the bright side, retrograde is ending in three days. im excited that when it ends, our relationship will start fresh again. and if we do start again in three days, we’ll go on with our lives the way it should be and both will never be the same again.
telling me from the very beginning i wasn’t an option. i am your choice. we stopped playing the game.
