the disconnect between the world as it is and the world as i wish it was is so harsh sometimes.
my head hurts.
my hands tremble.
i can feel a lump in my throat and whether it's tears or puke doesn't really matter anymore.
i want to fade out of existence again.
i'm shaking so badly that i think i might fall apart.
shake out the pins and nails that hold this shoddy framework together.
this shouldn't be a big deal.
this isn't new.