I am fine, Until . . .
That gentle voice - pretending helpfulness
Maliciously whispers
In my inner ear
And suddenly my world is shaken to the roots
In the smoke of its lies I am almost convinced.
My friends are
Untouchable strangers
Who only tolerate my presence
because telling me to sod off
Would be awkward for them.
My intelligence dissolves
Until I am nothing more
Than the fool that inspired
every blond joke ever invented.
I become a nuisance
Even to myself
And wonder why I should
even bother
Trying to make it to 50
Sometimes I try to fight back,
Using reason and light humor
To beat back the dark monster.
But even though I can usually force it
back into its dank hole,
It mocks me while backing off
And shoots a parting remark before
Sliding into the depths
To await its next opportunity at my sanity.
And I am left
hurt and confused.
Trying to clean the doubt out of my mind
As if it were a small bird rescued from an oil spill.