The last time I wrote poetry was the last time I felt love
Now I just find it hard to write at all
when all I think about is the people
Who constantly change
And I stay still

I just don’t feel right
I let things get the better of me

These past five months I’ve changed into a person I’ve never met before
And I’m constantly searching for the past me hoping he’s still there
He felt the most
Cared the most
He made me feel wanted and loved

Time does get the best of us all doesn’t it

I’m brought back to this version of me from 10 years ago
And I feel scared and sympathize with him
Over the loss of control
And having to change everything and start from the top again either it be relations ships
Or friendships
It’s always been hard for me

I try to convince myself that I’m no longer that person and that I’ve changed
But when I’m put in a situation where I have to begin again
I give in and become small again
And wait to grow back
Like a flower having to curl up as the moon sets in place
And very slowly start to open up, slowly as the sun rises up


I’m happy to have met everyone that I love, hate, long, and despise
Thank you for such an experience I’ll never forget to the day I can’t walk no more and have brittle hands and a bedridden body
...
With a big heart