how many times do i have to push people away? how much longer would i feel this way? it's killing me, i do not know what is this this feeling inside me is weighing me down a while a go i was just happy i was smiling, laughing, joking, i was ok. but there is just times when i feel like drowning when i feel like i'm sinking very deeply and i do not know how much longer this will take i cannot describe it i'm not depressed i'm not sad well, maybe a bit but, i don't understand. i have good friends and family i'm doing good on academics but why? can somebody please tell me why do i feel this way? for a minute could be laughing and smiling but anytime too, i feel like crying i feel not laughing or smiling anymore i don't understand. why?