layer upon layer I dug myself a deeper place to rest.... what's on the other side? what's greener there? can I make it through with internal doubt & rage which push into me spiraling & dancing into a red lit lounge with your maggot brain & passing rocks between our tongues? you saw my skin & porcelain fate all in my sentence & then you smashed my youth to smithereens on the corner of your bed frame while I learned to fly into the night on the wings of moths ... early November enveloping me in gentle decay & landing on your doorway hands clasped together prayers & stutters and cucumber ***** & leaving all sanity at your front door holding in my pocket a shard of yesterday just to get me through to make me remember that this is all a temporary resting place & I can cut out of here sooner than I let this place slowly cut into me & take away who I am I am not you, you are not me & I'll never be what you want & all these ways that aren't my being these faces, these stares these costumes I was meant for so much more I was meant to be seen in full & not in small detail. Take me out from under your lens, maybe stop burning holes into a person who just tried to love another I know how to plug up my own mishaps I know how to yes, I know how to..