i do not nice things
i lie
i break hearts
i play games
i try things just to see
what would happen
even if i know it's not right
i let my feelings get hurt
i pretend i don't know what they've said about me behind my back
i pretend i don't hear the things i say in my mind
i do things to hurt people on purpose
when they've hurt me
i do not nice things
and i hate myself for it

i wonder who you see
the liar
the attention seeker
the cry baby
the failure
or the genius
maybe a beauty
even a kind person

i shouldn't compare myself so much
but i do
thats the sad truth
i feel like i lack so much
but somehow am better than the rest of you at once
this cognitive dissonance
it's like a nonstop battle
between self-loathing and self-indulgence

i just wish i could be happy
i get what i want
but its not what i wanted
i pray that i'll be happy

i'm sorry for being a bad friend