I hate that lump.  
The one that keeps my voice from speaking clearly.  Keeps me tongue tied and unsure of whether to cry or scream or laugh it all off.
I'm good at that.  
Usually.  
But things don't seem so funny right now.
Not much humor in hanging by a thread.  
Holding on for dear life.
Trying to force that breath from my chest to my lungs.
That's where I need it most.
Clear your mind...let go of the past.
But the past is clingy.  
Like a needy friend who can't get enough attention.
I want to let it go.  
To sever that tie with long ago hurts.
Easier said than done.
Enlightenment plays tricks sometimes.
Here one minute.
Gone the next.
And here we go again with that ******* lump.