I'm shattered
To be selfless
To be respectful
To give you freedom
I've shattered us.
This tearing pain
Rips my heart to shreds
And the child inside me yells to bring you back
But I can't.
These fingers clutched
Too tight for too long
No matter how painful and wrong this seems
It's needed.
I love you as the ocean loves to move
With a depth that seeps into my bones because you are pure magic
bliss and love.
Why must my heart want to wander so?!
To keep you and my integrity too
Is a battle already lost
We both know you deserve full complete love
And my being stutters at the idea of forever because somewhere,
threads of discovery are calling
And to not heed them would be lying.
But,
I'm still trying
To figure out why my heart is telling me to lose you
when losing you feels like dying.