did it make you feel
closer
to me?

my breath
caught between you and that broken mattress
the one we flipped and turned
and slept on like kids
pillows at the wrong end
dreams left wandering

in your eyes
there was this surge
a rage
filled with possibility
in the absence of my free will
my body
immovable under you knees
my words
lost
in the ringing of desire
bouncing
back
and forth
defending the sudden deafness
of your senses

you are now
closer to me
whether that was indeed your intention
you trace me
despite purposeful lack of communication
i feel the weight of your breath
and the sting of your torso
when i lay very still
or grasp at my sheets
as the sun rises
occupying the loneliest single bed i've ever known
since that night
when you dictated my fate
and i lay
counting the planes that flew overhead
until it was over