Sep 2019
It's so difficult to go through the motions of life knowing that I'm a stereotype...
It's so difficult to have dreams of becoming "something" and then have them crushed...
It's so difficult to wake up daily terrified of making the smallest mistakes...
It's so difficult to be alive in this generation.
I want to be known for things other than being a foster kid once to becoming adopted to being chronically depressed to intentionally and unintentionally suicidal to being anxious everywhere. IN MY MIND.
I want to being an artist or a therapist or a musician.
I want my brain to know that it's okay to make mistakes.
I want to thrive in this generation.
Once upon a time, I hated myself...because I wasn't normal
Once upon a time, I starved myself...because I thought the number on the scale mattered more than getting energy to live.
Once upon a time, I use my body as a canvas of hate...because I felt like I deserved real pain.
Once upon a time, I really thought the world would be better without me...because I didn't like myself and I thought everyone else hated me just as much as I did.
Once upon a time, I lied...to protect those who were supposed to protect me.
Once upon a time, I was a victim to ****** abuse and never told a soul until I was given an ultimatum...because I thought I was going to be killed if I said something.
Once upon a time, I thought my life was normal...until I was shown what love was.
Telling my story over and over again never makes me feel awful...It usually means that I'm impacting someones life. I've always thought very low of myself until someone showed me what It was like to be a normal person. If I have to tell my story 100,000 more times before I die, I'll do it because I know that it changes lives.
I never actually thought that I would be in college...NEVER! I felt unworthy to follow my dreams. I felt discouraged by my own thoughts. I never thought that I would be an Aggie for Christ...but here I am after dreaming about being like the Aggies I met living at a children's home for over a year! I can testify! I can changes lives daily...I just have to make my brain calm down.
I'm not perfect: no one is, but I can say that I am a walking testimony of God's Wonderful and Merciful plans!!!
It's so difficult to have dreams of becoming "something" and then have them crushed...
It's so difficult to wake up daily terrified of making the smallest mistakes...
It's so difficult to be alive in this generation.
I want to be known for things other than being a foster kid once to becoming adopted to being chronically depressed to intentionally and unintentionally suicidal to being anxious everywhere. IN MY MIND.
I want to being an artist or a therapist or a musician.
I want my brain to know that it's okay to make mistakes.
I want to thrive in this generation.
Once upon a time, I hated myself...because I wasn't normal
Once upon a time, I starved myself...because I thought the number on the scale mattered more than getting energy to live.
Once upon a time, I use my body as a canvas of hate...because I felt like I deserved real pain.
Once upon a time, I really thought the world would be better without me...because I didn't like myself and I thought everyone else hated me just as much as I did.
Once upon a time, I lied...to protect those who were supposed to protect me.
Once upon a time, I was a victim to ****** abuse and never told a soul until I was given an ultimatum...because I thought I was going to be killed if I said something.
Once upon a time, I thought my life was normal...until I was shown what love was.
Telling my story over and over again never makes me feel awful...It usually means that I'm impacting someones life. I've always thought very low of myself until someone showed me what It was like to be a normal person. If I have to tell my story 100,000 more times before I die, I'll do it because I know that it changes lives.
I never actually thought that I would be in college...NEVER! I felt unworthy to follow my dreams. I felt discouraged by my own thoughts. I never thought that I would be an Aggie for Christ...but here I am after dreaming about being like the Aggies I met living at a children's home for over a year! I can testify! I can changes lives daily...I just have to make my brain calm down.
I'm not perfect: no one is, but I can say that I am a walking testimony of God's Wonderful and Merciful plans!!!
