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Sep 2019
it’s been 4 months. I’m still not able to go out alone. I freeze every time someone tries to touch me and I cry if I even get close to having *** with someone. In the past 4 months I have fallen back into the habit of drinking to black out and drinking to forget. I am using more drugs than before. I want to feel numb. I can’t be here sober because you creep back into my mind. I’m afraid to be alone, afraid to be with those I love, and even more afraid to let myself open up to those who I want to love. There are still days when I cannot get out of bed. The shame and guilt that I feel is too much. There will be a day when I get up and what you did will no longer weigh so heavy on my mind. Today may not have been that day but that day will come.
Written by
tinnnafish  20/F
(20/F)   
109
 
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