can’t get a hold of HIM tonight,
phones are busy, lines are jammed
in this reverse marathon telethon
where the callers are the beggars,
pleading for donations from the Lord.

The Lord is busy right now.
To leave a message after the tone:

press 1 for health
press 2 for wealth
press 3 for love
press 4 for all the above

press 5 press 6 press 7
if you want to go to heaven.