dirt in my eyes, black in my lung, tar in my soul, **** in my heart,
**** in my brain,
**** in my mouth,
**** in my hands.

You talk to me a little
''how are you baby?"
" I don't know
I feel like someone is cutting through my neck with a rusty
spatula.it ******* *****''

''well I'm sorry to hear that''
''you're always sorry,
when are you ever going to be sincere?"

she rubs her arm
"it's not my fault you're always miserable"

I look at the light,
I agree, and there's no real responding to it.
"well ******* then"

the door slams and she leaves.   I throw a brick at the wall and make a huge hole for the spiders to climb in.
I awake with bites all over me,
the lantern swings in the wind. wizard of oz is on. Why is it on? it's so old.

she comes back

"I forgot my shoes"

she picks them up and proceeds to look at me, while a tear rolls down her cheek.

"like I said, I'm sorry"

the door closes, and a rush of cool air blows in, and my hair stands still, and the arm produces prickly bumps.

I don't want to be here any longer.
I don't want to watch this movie.
I walk outside.

I walk 13 miles and get to a bus stop. I give him my $5 and get on. I sit down, and 13 hours later, I'm somewhere else.  I'm somewhere else, foreign,
new,
scary,
devastating,
but still the chill persists.   let me run. please. let me escape. let me go