Why are we here?
How did we get here?
Where do we go from here?
When did you stop loving me?
Was it a year ago? Two?
Was is more than that?
When did the feelings start to fade?
What did I do for you to stop caring?
The thing is
I feel like you think I'm terrible
I'm walking garbage
You left me like I was
What did you see in me
In the first place?
Why did you even choose me
In the first place?
Was it slow?
Was it some specific action?
I tried to be there for you
I tried to help
But you never let me in
You never let me help
Even when you were vulnerable
You were still closed up
I feel like I never knew you
I feel like you wouldn't know me anymore
I'm not the same person
I'm different, things have changed
They will never go back to
What they were
But I have this sick fantasy
Made up in my head
That you'll call me at 3 a.m.
Voice shaking and heart aching
You'll take everything back
You'll say sorry and want me again
Want me like how I want you
I can't talk to anyone
The way I can talk to you
I can't sit in silence with anyone
The way silence feels comfortable with you
No one feels like you
My heart is empty
I've been doing stupid things
Letting stupid things happen
Just so I can feel something
Anything at all
But everything is numb
It feels like I'm in a play
I'm a guest star in my own life
I'm sleep walking on set
I'm a robot, performing basic functions
I'm a puppet, letting everyone tug on my strings
Nothing feels real anymore
No where feels like home
No one feels like home
I don't know what to do or where to go
I am stuck in a place
I'm not even sure where it is anymore
I can't stop rambling
Filling this empty space
Nothing fills this empty space
My heart still aches
Everyone feels like a stranger
No where is home
I just want to die
Because then the pain would be over
At least I wouldn't feel empty
I just wouldn't exist anymore
That's better than this empty I feel
I can't go back
I don't think I deserve to go back
I don't deserve a lot of things
I don't deserve a lot of people
I don't deserve to be here
They don't deserve someone
As empty as me
As cold and harsh as me
Everyone is pretending to like me
My own lover hates the way I look
My own family tolerates me
That's why I can't leave
If I were to leave
What would I do?
Where would I go?
I'm trapped
I'm trapped in this empty shell
I'm trapped in my own head
I'm trapped in this relationship
I'm so tired