in my lazy moments
when my mind searches for questions to collide
I’ve imagined you apologizing
asking if I’m mad
“I’m not mad” I say
“Why would you think so?”
But apparently I think so
more often then I’d like to admit
I’m wanting an apology

An apology
for bringing me to the edge
the cutting edge
the edge I’m no more than five steps away from
At all times
It’s not your fault
that I’m always on the ledge
looking for ways to climb down
jump down
run down
dive down
You were a journey I wasn’t expecting
but I was willing to take

Oh how I’ve wished you would talk to me
But I learned the hard way
Love isn’t something I can make
And when you walk away
You walk away
And I will NEVER
beg a man to stay again
Or consider going $600 into debt
just to buy a plane ticket
and a week to prove that I’m worth it
I’ll be confident
that you’re the only one who lost
But we’re both better off in the end
even when I feel like you stole
an opportunity from me
to show my love
ever so extravagantly