It's weird what goes on
behind these "simple" eyelids--
the thoughts and the urges
I simply cannot control

In one moment, I feel like
cleaning my desk, my vanity, my life--
next I am moving in a fluid dance,
and every object has it's place so
please
don't touch my pile--
just watch as I rearrange
the makeup and bracelets,
don't speak as I shift the contents
into a perfectly patterned formula.

Don't look as I starve myself raw
let me tear up inside and tango
with the devil - once dormant - parading my soul.
everything's just a means of control.

And then there's the highs, like one
speedy night,
where the right words escape me, yet I
never shut up.
they roll on out
and with the drop of my tongue,
the tragic downs
shred the place where my hope once hung

The world is distorted--
all senses curved and
odd thoughts odd actions--
when there's more than
one of you
inside