I’m not an earthling
I am here to see what is alive
I couldn’t breathe, my own mucus can still choke me
It’s this horrible feeling that nobody else gets
My skin is so thin
The illnesses inside my brain
The overwhelming laughter, mental sound

My judgment is not right
I make a fool of myself
I cling to someone incessantly
Why is it only serious
On a dark application?
And not everywhere else?

How many copies
Will I make of myself before
My mind implodes and the mucus overruns me
From both the nervousness and the excitement
They say decay
I see the breaks get taken here
My influences break my ears and spill sappy

I didn’t understand
I have an urge to delete
Something that makes other people happy
I never bring them joy
My voice is over here
I can’t read a book

Where does this urge come from?
Does doing it make me strong?
A boy once said I only care
About myself, not others
I just dismissed it as not true
But now I see it

I’m so used to
Following rules
When I break them, I don’t realize
It’s so hard to
Sustain merely myself
I try not to wrong you but I can’t right you, either

Crank up the volumes that
Exist solely in my head
They say you can’t turn that **** up
But sometimes I’m in this state
Where it’s like a mental ****
Sounds attacking me

The ringing of a doctor’s office
And the tool that they used
Planted permanently