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Jan 10 · 18
Trout Jan 10
The ink’ed blots and the candle shots are all groaning in the shadow
The pine blue jeans and the massive scenes are croaking like an animal
I can’t find a way to release myself from the cutting of a lamb’s elbow
The bootstraps will come when you cannot find anything else outside, no
I am here today to enjoy my prayer even when you’re living tomorrow
When sister burned me, it didn't hurt me, it cast me to the fire's hope
The chance she's my mother is not so strong, in fact I think she's a running joke
Jan 10 · 16
Hit in the face
Trout Jan 10
You didn’t even notice
It was gone that whole moment
The class is screaming loudly
They all just love carousing
I am a quiet baby
I sit here like a lady
I’ll clap when they all want me
But then again, it’s my need

Is this the real motion?
Chairs already hit spokes and
Banged me right on my forehead
I felt it for several oceans
Trout Jan 10
Don’t bring me into this please
This feels like such a movie
Am I going to die here?
Oh what a clever plot point

And I can’t stand being alone
When it’s time to have someone loved
Lessen the pain until it’s a drop in the bucket
I can’t see you anymore.

Bliss is such an aberration
Psychology, I’ll find this way should
Be something I can’t undo in me.

Leave me now again and again
Rich snobs are the best vacation
Never know if you’re seeing that siren

Ringing bells are all droning
Go to the church so it can be all drowned out
This is an abomination
A little monster inside of your heart

“I feel like you could see me if I disappeared”
I just like to pretend that I do
By searching for old words of love
And imagining that they’re new.
Jandek - I Knew You Would Leave
Oct 2019 · 61
World about to end
Trout Oct 2019
As a rich kid sentimental crucify
I go out lurking in the black of night
To see the moon and copy down the phase I lie
And forget it
It’s all lurid sky

My face is blurry till the scope reminds the world
It’s a jungle and you go home to bed
Insane men know, never understand
And achieve light like the bandit who stole
The girl that ran away with someone else
Oct 2019 · 52
Who am I?
Trout Oct 2019
What disguise?
Is it time to run around or could I just be a frown
No denying
Is contours and smiles
The shells on the avalanche, they’re such a fanciful spot
Should I be the cancerous one who links all insidious lots?
I’ll die
To die severs all living ends and counting files
And a winter cannot bite or see the light
Into its glowing sight
Oh, who will die

Too summery inside my shy
Two angry little flies
Two gambling anchors that live on and die
Can you recognize the meticulous, the move
Can you go
To the man who lives in the snow
And says who will die
Oct 2019 · 44
Trout Oct 2019
My sweet generosity is longing for sweets inside a fool
I can’t understand the multitudes of a launder coming through
And seven crises is the answer of the bedtime, can you listen anyway?
And I’ll sing curiosity to bring something everyone will think
Oct 2019 · 48
Watching friends
Trout Oct 2019
Just lie down, put your eyes on the table
Watch the parade from the sun
My new life is an apparition
Nobody can see my tongue
My machines are a gallery
Sometimes they never speak to me
And I can’t remember the screen
Where movies leak
Singing sweet bells to me
Oct 2019 · 86
Remove you
Trout Oct 2019
I'm falling down a stairway
I never wanted to behave
I wouldn't love you either way
My eyes are fallen in anyway
I couldn't stay forever
The other ways are better
Oh, love me like you said there
You want to live forever
The times are never changing
The patterns rearranging
The gospel said it's all ours
Never believe it's too hard

My droning spire at night
Believe in tires to hide
A fantasy is rising
Never believed the sky beams
Undo the undulations
Forbidden conversations
Ecstatic violations
A good reincarnation
The sun receives a vision
To me this is all risen
I can't bother to listen
All saints, all sinners missing
The good parade ambition
I will not see you mythic
I cannot be a ribbon
Tied on the box of rhythm

Follow a sacred passion
Redo restore the action
Go like a churchbell hatchet
At night it's all reactions
Oct 2019 · 43
Cabin II
Trout Oct 2019
So I am going to write a song
Anyway I can imagine
I wouldn’t understand it
I feel that something is slightly off
But it’s not enough to save me
From suffering and working

I’ve got three hours to do this work
I want to start over badly
I don’t want to be judged free
Oh, all the clocks are ticking so fast
But I’m here thinking of you dear
It hurts my ears the breathing

Can I blast all of my screams aloud?
I know it’s so weird for you but
This is music to me cause
Even though there is no real melody
It gives me this sort of feeling
My brain is always peeling

I hear my mother’s snoring in the buzz of my old desktop
My mouth cannot be closed

Oh, just one more verse to make me happy
Everything is an illusion
Hey, when’s the last time I talked to Lucian?
I don’t know why we had such a bond
Now there’s nothing left in common
All imagery forgotten
Trout Sep 2019
Suit of armor in the sky
The redeemed values conjure my eye
It’s a game, to be fair
Rotation to capture despair
A band of sea monkeys can capture my grenade
The funny feeling sits around and waits until it’s dead
I’m growing older, feeling ghostly bugs outside my leg

How time can pass so fast and leave you empty after facts
I’m going back a day ago when I could not relax
I’m solitary now but when there’s more
People, I feel alone

My birthday in a month
It’s great how my life is a joke
All I see are severed roads
How could you be so deeply soap?
You quit trying to manage me and blocking me all out
The truth is that it’s both our faults but you’re the one who broke
It’s just the way I am but you’re the one who hurt me most

I never realized how much I always think of you
Many things around my life were built upon us two
I never meant to look like such a dork
So you stopped all the work
Sep 2019 · 203
Trout Sep 2019
Now do I give a second chance
Since you became a manly man
Since I would rather be distasteful
My past only proves that I would take

Misery clouds our intuitions
Sep 2019 · 122
True colors
Trout Sep 2019
My fretting rain now sets the corner of the world into the sun
You little one, a pocketful of number ones to run along
This is the end, my very beautifulest friend
The spirit dancing on the Nile
And will I leave it with the changing of the seasons?

Making friends that go immediately
Suns into a spiralling
Little joys admiring
The geese that fly by, leaving all supply dry
Anonymous see butterflies

Point to several setting moons to enjoy panorama
Just like my treble clef inside
Standing up towards the sky
Need I remind you my problems?
Virgins peel like a cornhusk light
(Cactus-like tendrils, spiky and purple
Yields an invisible fruit inside)
So will I
I am the motion
I can’t see you against the sky

Five AM is when you’ll go
To be caught up in your cries
You will stand by side, your side
I’m over it, I wouldn’t lie

I’m such a weak, tremulous girl
I dive into love way too fast
I get attached to a horrid choice
It should have not been this way
Because of the way social plays

Your sentence stutters, it’s make believe
The transient way that you sang to me
I lost the lover, he’ll never see
The chains that describe what he means to me
Sinking in the sea where the creatures can attach
I want to scream a mountain and override this black
Sep 2019 · 123
Trout Sep 2019
I am a console of good despair
And I only want to have you
No matter what the statutes
Bring me a bottle to capture air
But the room is full of sidewalks
I would rather be deadbolt

I wouldn’t ever remorse you just
To be satisfied with my life
I am not so deep in pride
That’s the way I like to think it but
There are all these things that I want
That I have never begot

Ten cigarettes in the atmosphere
There’s a lightbulb in the ballroom
The fixture sprays its values
Focus the times, nothing’s sacred here
Ridiculous, all these steps
It takes to get to world war
Culture is something unique to man
Sometimes I wish we’d go back
Anthropocentric anthrax
Now *** is something you have to learn
There’s no more animal instincts
You better know your manners

There’s this one person I want to see
Everything that I ever do
But forget some things in front of you

The fear, fear, the total fear
Sep 2019 · 110
Trout Sep 2019
A void in my pocket with a voice
Amazing how you’ll write all these songs and poems
About your heart being broken again and again
And then turn right back around and break my heart without ******* hesitation.
I’m wearing thin it’s time number five
The love I crave could guide my life
But only some people have the privilege of being wanted
Sep 2019 · 470
Trout Sep 2019
Waiting for your love
to grow; in and low
The increase is yours
Sep 2019 · 173
Trout Sep 2019
Yesterday I was in a room full of people
All of whom I’d met within the last two weeks
And I looked around at each person
That I’d interacted with before
And quantified how I thought they viewed me
And realized I thought every person hated me
For some reason or another
And I realized that’s the definition of social anxiety
Sep 2019 · 168
I carry more than you see
Trout Sep 2019
There’s more where that came from
There’s more behind the scene
When I once had a dream
(this is the scenic route)
I carry more than you see. My dreams are bigger than me.
Trout Sep 2019
I have a little mortification somewhere
Spot the death

The twelve ovals in your eyes when you look down
White and black and brown and
The dark hollowness in your cheeks
Depression is a real heavy word

I saw the moon in a different chapel and started to cry
Sep 2019 · 3.4k
Trout Sep 2019
A list of words I cannot ever say
But I will have to say them every day
I am supposed to practice saying ice
Ice with spice and six o’clock
I will lie and say I did it all
But they all know my tongue will always fall

I googled it to find out what I do
My speech impediment is sadly true
I haven’t done anything about it since
My speech therapist gave me the final mint
I hated it, and it was all suppressed
But now I tell it, I always confess

I wonder if I do it without thought
Am I saying it right or am I not
And no one ever says a thing to me
(Except the boy I crushed on, that one week)
I don’t know if it changes who I am
But I’d still be better off talking like a normal man

It’s something that a lot of people have
But the harsher term makes me inexplicably glad
“Speech impediment”, now I’m special too
Deviancy just like my missing tooth

I always sing even though it sounds weird
Sometimes I avoid the words I’ve always feared
Not “just” the “sea” but “change”, “commotion” too
Especially when I read I’m conscious of how my tongue moves.
Not just that, but I spit and stutter
All my “spreading” is full of clutter
The judge says “Clear”, I have to try
But I could lose the debate, and feel like dying

I know I should grow out of it as a child
But habits stick after so many miles
Along with my disproportionately small hands
And legs and everything that makes me feel like no man’s land
Between a kid and the way I should be
At the age of seventeen
I wish it didn’t change who I am
(Is it just another reason I can't find a...)
Sep 2019 · 87
Instinct words
Trout Sep 2019
Change your numbers for the fans
Lose a game it’s not so bad
Jumping sneakers cut to the chase
Andamanda pace the pace
Fill a fill a fill a fill
Bells are ringing keep it still
Towels wringing water spills
Smelly water in my mouth
It’s addictive get it out
Give me sickness trauma now
I am listening, open your mouth
What I said was not the truth
Open laughter paints the room
Invisibility, cage and broom

My mystic operation is a chance
An aberration for a living hand
The stripey lies all correlate with tears
A goose inside my foot i want to sear.
I want to itch and pray for mom my god
It’s what she wants it’s what she wants to hog
Her box is two-dimensional inside
My instincts tell me no no no no hide
Is this the sound of mouth and spit and chew?
It wants to beat, it’s serenading you.
Right now the eyes are glaring to the key
Don’t pick it up, it leads to fantasy

Three minutes till the castle breaks my ear.
Go home. Go home. Go home.
And And And And This And That
End of sadness - Over - Time
Sep 2019 · 135
Limerence 3
Trout Sep 2019
I find it pretty ******* hard to believe
That someone like you would talk to someone like me
And not expect me to fall in love with you immediately
Sep 2019 · 94
Smiling face
Trout Sep 2019
So it’s the time we will get together
It’s rebellious cuticle education
Don’t know why they said
“We are part of a great cosmic dance”
Surrender to future and make me feel okay

Amplify the taboo
Search for polished rooms
It’s a morphogenetic thing
My quotation indeed
Smile you gorgeous bean
Go back home to remind yourself that
You are beautiful wherever you stand
“I am talking about love.”
Sep 2019 · 132
Trout Sep 2019
A laughing mirror for fun house
The warped faces are so so loud

The gunshot of living without noise
A prayer fills my ears
A ****** waitress was my fear
I know it’s better without life
I wouldn’t change a thing
My fingers dig down inverted
Into soft ground
Sep 2019 · 87
Tumbling walls
Trout Sep 2019
My side is a candle that cannot be renewed
And I called it famous tillandsia
A baby blue
Fainting miracles to blame
Let the stakes all stir the eye
The prophecy is measured towards the sky
The tiny bible is so wild
The music on the floor is what I came for

A fantasy until torments come to life
It’s a funky feeling to hear
A grand illusion
With a pleasure inside you
An absorbent and multiply
A fish that melts the eye
A top hat and a quantum leap, it’s really weird
It’s a kind duration

With the cards played over
Gone tomorrow and seldom seize the day
Prophecies they fail you or
Imitate you
Seven dividends
And a bandit would sell you before anything ever gets in (rumbling pages)
Animosity selling frauds and plaster all is felled in
Sep 2019 · 117
In real life
Trout Sep 2019
Take your spirit, find some image
And repeat it, just relive it
No sensation, grab retwist it
Answers come from winners winning
Trout Sep 2019
When my poor head is wet, grandma is gay
Tacit engagement stractics
Crisping over the plains

I’m no scented mentalist.
Scream and slide

Where did
It go
It is impossible
The fan
He makes
Too many good points

I have a visitor with a golden eye
Standing in the street
Open to anything
Such as:
Drifting white on the millsap sockways

Tempted by the crew of another

Oh so you’re the seventh advanced skeleton now?

There’s a buidle
Dancing around with the same colored eagle

Take it off
With a chance
To the world

a) white inside
b) dead inside

You look like you should be short but when you stand up you are going to be really tall. I am the opposite.
Lose the grass in your bones and be here tomorrow
Vandal vandal candle future
Sep 2019 · 136
Once it's over
Trout Sep 2019
Mushrooms fill her eyelids
Covered with the scent of broomsticks, bruises, glue sticks.
I feel it moving, with one inside
Talk to Japan
One’s still inside
One’s still inside
The feeling sticks
In me of me
Sep 2019 · 128
Lovechild that I know
Trout Sep 2019
My angle screams like the kids at bay!
I’ve had enough of all the master troops!
My heads are gleaming, my turns are screaming
The gun is smoking at the heart of it
We shoot the scene and lay a rainbow star
The moon reflected underneath it all
Just like a gum *** stuck under five shots
My ears are ringing like a tongue of thorns
(But I like it)
Sep 2019 · 277
Trout Sep 2019
I am a shell of a man in the shadow of a girl
Sep 2019 · 75
Car window
Trout Sep 2019
Change watts, for sale, for sale
Oil on the stop sign rubs out the words
Ventriloquist of a devil Jesus mannequin
Behind the ***** window muted colors
Hearing Radio Disney at night and seeing none of it until I’m older
But now my bus died on the phone
Sep 2019 · 100
Trout Sep 2019
My vendetta in the open
My emotional lantern calls for you
And turns on automatically every night

It’s your fault, it’s not my job
Sister brother changing mob
Sep 2019 · 90
Trout Sep 2019
Only one minute of plaster in wrappers
Golden embraces and chatters and slappers
Milking a chime in the blink of an eye
These are the ones who can normally sigh

Drinking an island outside in the open
Like a balloon it can never be broken
Chosen pedometers cry when they’re called
Never amused and they’re never appalled

My amazing panorama of the gorgeous land
The moon of the weather and silverish thoughts
The sun is out there

Men that caress drama packing the village
Joining the camera when it’s time to scrimmage
Scream like a cannibal eating alive
Foreman and playground and funniest eye

Lose all your wishes and wait for the kisses
Like angel food cake and innocent glistens
Smelling a robin inside of a tomb
Glasses are sitting on top of the spoon

Oh I wonder how my knowledge can be used for good
The little girls charm everyone with their smiles
So how many miles
To go?
Sep 2019 · 109
Trout Sep 2019
My adolescent paparazzis just all come and say
To counter the spink and magic music is a getaway
My view is a heathen
The club is alive and all
The funniest vision
Where trumpeters play such a song
My feet are cold
What should I do
My essence body is calling you

No forgiving
The underworld is for the hide-and-seek
Try, try, traitor
For the one who doesn’t write a song
Lose, lose, winner
The harp of luna can’t be traded off
Go to dinner
Driving out and sing a different song

Come a bit later
Trying to see
A picture of boys that soothe and cancer and see lots of taxidermy
The tie and newspaper
My amusement is great
The poison capital diamond
Tied to what’s on

Dripping harmonies and symptoms
Grabbing tools and violins
Thumping banners of all wisdom
Grabbing children funny kids
The pincher grabs a thunder
I would like to have fun in a perilous game
The sun is raging backwards
My understatement
Sep 2019 · 113
Trout Sep 2019
The smell of sunscreen makes me nostalgic
And the sound of an air conditioner
But not the feeling of a big coat
Or throwing snowballs with bare hands
Sep 2019 · 81
Trout Sep 2019
My soul is weakened at the hand
To be such a one who sleeps
In the morning and night
And midday to which one will have
Anything to be such a winter gun
Such a winter gun
Inside myself inside your own
Hands and thighs and pinky fingers
Little toes on the ground
That will make something a sound
I cannot find the words
To explain some absurd
Gallery on the table
With the magic light of spark
Sparking up to the hills
Cannot be something real
In the ocean, cannot bear
What will see, diamond be
To be careful in the mare

Such a boring winter light
Magic markers at the sight
Counting wrens inside the tomb
Mystic magic, *******
Inside my hearer sides,
Inside the willing lies
Toes inside the marching band
Dinosaurs of the little land
Feet with socks of purple pots
Changing numbers like they’re rocks
Sweater on the baking tide
Whizzing laughter fill inside
Drooping eyes of wisdom words
Cannot calculate the buzzing turds
Swooping in and out like a bee inside the masking man
Marching till it’s out of hand
Cannot conjure anything at all
Can you fall
Until the doll
Reaps inside the penny lane
The naked heart inside the side
The cave below
The ground that’s sowed
Sewed inside
The human eye
Everything inside
Something inside
The man won’t go away
The humans are here to stay
The baby parasite
The adult living life
What’s the difference
Sep 2019 · 113
Trout Sep 2019
I find out you are someone’s daughter
Smile waning at the side, a button with no rights
A corpse inside the child that screams until it’s mild
Sep 2019 · 195
Trout Sep 2019
Tomb of council in the march of waits
Castle in the tourist populate
Nothing’s here to mitigate
Told you once
Go unto the night
Then you hide
Granting syllables in the sky
Scrimmaging inside the mark of parts
Thinking as the waiter counts the scars
Stooping down to be aligned
Fighting wars
To be all brand new
Standing there till you cannot choose how to lose

Limerence like a band of thieves
Thorn of whistle cutters like an ambulance
Sing to mark the eye where the ribbon can sigh and cry
Aug 2019 · 139
A primal heart, alone
Trout Aug 2019
My mother seven five eight, losing till you cannot create
Post after ten o clock, I see numbers scratching a mark
I’m in the bathroom at seven, the grandeur, the pastures, the foreheads
My endure is blasted, singing right to the ones who knew

The night’s ticking out till 5 am, 5 am, 5 am
That’s where you come from in dark amends, braving send, dark amends
The hornets and brass of thunder tail, soothing scale, fairy tale
Pristine engulfment of the whale

Pour the anchor out of the cup again
Take my name so I’m leaning at the eye
(Movies fill my eyelids)
With the one can’t be tamed
To write it up, but see nothing right
(Undo gamer sparkle)
The penumbra of sharpened cries
The bells inside your eyes
I need it
(Oil of sundry cancer)
The mendacity hiding
The ghost of the future is too long past

Curling jokers in and out of the pout, for a cloud, till I’m drowned
The markers on the board **** me out, liquid bound, writing round
The masking of the drill cuts the sound, could be found, always loud
Under the stars under everyone
(Toilet mustard heartache)
(Pills that contour grand estate)
Aug 2019 · 205
Trout Aug 2019
Under the pins carnations are *******, throwing the garbage
Masking eulogies with a kite
Thrashing the carnage with a machete, grabbing the youthful
Putting firelight to the sky
Nicaragua counter the prophets
And a phantom see such a muppet
Can you understand where I come from
Where I come from, where I come from?
Selling laughter at the stadium
With a poster for mausoleum
Gotta get down to craze a glue gun
Punking new sons, in the blue sun
Aug 2019 · 332
Trout Aug 2019
Please leave me alone
I’m not the phone
Inscribe your message
Dial at the tone
Aug 2019 · 137
Where's that baby now?
Trout Aug 2019
Trampling a couple of golden thrones
Granting a kisser to join our fun constructions
Waiting till the score
Growing older more
Laughing battles until day is done
I wish I had some fun

Losing a couple of games to haunt
You until your mind is slimed by hoping wishes
Like a bubble tail
Gormball in the light
Go to church with the extras of flight
A morning sun beams bright
Aug 2019 · 71
It's our job to breathe
Trout Aug 2019
My papers are such a mess
Finding rulers in my chest
The putrid animosity, the Gorsuch of my truth, what is forgiven
Is pastly driven
What is unwritten
Is girly rhythm

The pain of a winter pole
Spending dollars at home
Telling whiskey that she is a lonesome
A gift is a friend for a child
Telling you what you like
All my statements are subject to new drafts
A cornmeal, a *******, a snake
Aug 2019 · 76
Trout Aug 2019
My heart’s greatest heart attack
Came to me when I smelled black
Corsets on the grand detail
They raised me to seek so well
Don’t you fear, it’s time to spend
Ladies never have a trend
Going to the house of arms
Wrapped around the melted charm

Wasting time is never art
Growing to be someone’s spark
Driving pastures through the crowd
My solution is too loud
No, the pastels are too grim
Growing ageless and so thin
Aug 2019 · 161
Trout Aug 2019
Petal of golden ecstasy
Marked by wisdom teeming like a snake
To feel the pressure of the speech
To fill the parade with autumn breeze
Aug 2019 · 97
Pain of a ghost town
Trout Aug 2019
With a will to fight
Gripping hearts are full of sight
Find the ghost inside of me
With a torch inside his tree
My poor heart is still so burning
Can you hurt me?

Strangely modern eyes
Craving every sight
Nuts are turned against us
Maybe this is trooper
The foxes avoiding the night
Just like the crows on the wire
Painting pictures without any lines

For the growing tide
Videos are so unsightly
My delusion is a curse
For the ones who make it worse
Now the magazine is lonesome
For short one

Never try to find
Someone with a smile
My points tell you stop it
Ride a rocket
Who understands what I mean?
I want to give you a green
Golden cradle humming to the birds
Aug 2019 · 65
Tragic mirror
Trout Aug 2019
Sometimes I never have to try to make you
Make you
Into a screamer
Without the mood
Aug 2019 · 72
Bad law
Trout Aug 2019
My truck is a line to the time
When I never could have fun
Or remorse in a value system
Gaining my ice to the price in a cellular misfit
Jumping games to a hound of lusted
Save twenty-five coins for white
Underneath the brink of light
Find five distorted chimes
Helping the mystery come to life

My crack is parallel
To other sides of hell
The joint is never fine
The cues are mine

Fire to the eyes like a mice who could never ever hide
Like a racecar under the story
Tracking the lice like a whisper to never ever say
Going once, going twice forever
My beads are kin to my spine
Thought arrestments on the line
For one unsorted crime
Never realize penalize

Five words to grostulate
My severed hand is fate
The king of *******
The point of wake

Singing such a bad, bad song
Let the race go on
My heart is worn
Thinking I’m a lad of tongs
Let the brakes go hard
My tongue is wet

Six rubber bands on my hand
Go to filter out the land
Distorted chivalry bands
Mistaking instruments for the talk

My eyes are kind of sad
I’ll never strike a match
To bring this back to light
My ears can find

Winning all the guessing games
It’s a real sad fame
So burnt the eye
Finding all the mitochon-
-dria seeking fun
A blood is reign
Thorning in the black of night
To the real good times
My heart is red
Jelly in the breaking time
No more after five
Go back to bed
Aug 2019 · 105
Limerence 2
Trout Aug 2019
My insane eyes are telling me to calm down
I see a fault, it’s always always mine
I have no chill, I’m breaking in my car now
I can’t return to how it was before
I wish I was a month ago or later
Cause it’s right now, the pain is growing still
The tumor grows until it melts my body
As I stand still every time the heat just rise

My flows are grating in the crows
My circumference is hiding
Making fine words are growing in time

“I let the world crush my bare leaf hands
And let the ground dissolve my footsteps
Maybe if things were aligned
I would be standing straight”
(That was the spark of it all. But now)
Grinning laughter kiss my face
So far under the duvet
Grammy has a fit, painters are so lit
Anything is fine

Home I am is number one
And so the crapping starts
My illusion is a ****
And I have no parts

Can I contract love?
Some things are like a disease
And do I have to say please

I cannot try to copy distance
I don’t know how to tell you I feel this
If I shared it with you, would you notice anything?
Would you just say cool and leave and make me shake again?

Sander on the laugh of cure
I know that you’re bored
I wish I could say anything
But what do you want?

Is it me or you
Who does these things that I do
I’m not trying to imitate you
I can’t swear on that
You are the reason I think
Really, on any of these things

Folding chair
Green sweater
No, not that one
Or grey hoodie
With red grungey text
That blurry photo but in higher quality
Where your knee is up there
Have you been there?
We could have been in the same room
You are rich
Rich beyond belief
I can imagine it
It’s not unimaginable
I fail to not find it unimaginable
I fail to picture your face crystal clear
Every mental image is from a still photo

My arrangement is gold
This a song that I came from
My direction is old
And I never will learn from
My sedation is gruesome
So I touch everyone
I wish I could be stronger and tell you the truth but
My solution is far away
From my willing cards

My ears are thin and they cannot hear anything
Everything is just a little lie
Nothing is kind and everything is full of crime
That’s too far but I just want to (die?)

My begottens are hybrid game
For the one who will catch my eye
My solution is great pain
For I wanted to try
Such a dangerous game and the wilder I’m smoothing
It’s the worse you see me
When I try to glide
Under you

My arms are a mess of the biggest mistake
My giant illusion is trying to wake
My senses are tingling
It sure doesn’t matter
What I am trying to do
I wish I could just hear your voice once again
But not a recording, something you do for me
Don’t sound like a robot
This is getting too personal
But don’t go away
(What even is this?)
Aug 2019 · 120
Limerence 1
Trout Aug 2019
Oh god I’m so nervous I can feel the ticking and rumbling and vibration of my heart and my skin and blood cells in my chest and my lungs and my hands and my feet and it’s making me feel all sweaty and dry at the same time and when I do this thing is it going to feel better or worse because it has been a long time since I have done this thing that I used to do all the time but in all the time that I have not been doing it I have just been thinking about doing it again but have been too nervous to go back to doing it and I can’t tell if right now is a good opportunity or if I start doing it it’s not going to last very long or it’s just going to make me feel worse about doing it in the future when I really want to be doing it all the time and then I would lose my opportunity to do it tomorrow because that might be a better time but I couldn’t do it again because of how badly I did it today but if I don’t do it right now I’m losing another opportunity as well and I need something to do now as I am just sitting here and I have to do it eventually or I’ll die of these feelings
I love you so much it hurts
Aug 2019 · 72
Flesh and blood
Trout Aug 2019
I’m a blazing firefly
One of monosaccharides
Now the sea has kept me on my feet
Ghosts are easy to go home
My aim is laughing at the stove
So I will just handle you with ease

Minimalism is such a virtue
I would never try just to hurt you
My alignment is under the stars

My point is a vow
Secret forever
Loving with my mouth
Go with the feather
A hapless fly
A needle of rye
The hums will danger your heart
For the gorgeous velocity waning from the start

T-shirts are a billionaire
Dollars fly above the air
Never wanted, never had to care
Spots and marks under the land
Chalk of angel in the sand
Moist impressive eagle to the frown

Strike a match inside the dimension
All I ever need is attention
Blush of mutilated copulate

We are two bright bars
Above a danger sign
Flying with no heart
The tropics are so kind
The grinds of wire
The spark of the climb
The chain is capitalism
For the end is the drawing of my hand in your eye

A kind of disease
A kind of disease
A kind of disease
A kind of a kind of a kind of disease that makes you want to scream
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