being abandoned by my family left a void in me
i always forget that it lingers
but every kind man i meet reminds me that it’s there

sitting beside the taxidermy man and his fluffy dog i noticed that the void grew
they were alone too, and as i sat silent on the grass i wished we could join together
his lonely heart bore flowers unlike mine
he was like someone from a mystical farm
and his smile was warm and kind

in another life him and my mum would have fell in love
and we’d tour the world with him and his creations
but he’s vanished with the dust now, another destroyed daydream

i wonder what my grandma is like
did she wear pretty dresses when she was younger?
was she a kind friend, daughter, lover?
her heart clearly isn’t pure otherwise i wouldn’t have been left all alone
so i don’t care what she did
any hope i had has grown cold

do i have any sisters or brothers?
if i do, were they left too?
i bet they weren’t because i’m sure i have a curse
a fist held to my face at birth, if only i knew what was to come
of course everything would get worse

and i’m mortified that i look like him
being alive feels like a sin