I know I hurt you in the past with some things that I said and some behaviors I've had. I know you hate the person I've chosen to be with for the rest of time and I know the feeling is mutual. I know I hurt your heart with my ignorance and childish selfishness. I just want you to know that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry and I miss you. I wish we could be friends again. I tried to tell you happy birthday. And when he proposed I still wanted to tell you first. I want you to be part of all the big moments but I know how unlikely that is now. It's the reality I live in but I don't want to accept it. I'm sorry for behaving so recklessly and emotionally. I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you to watch as I threw myself back into terrible black holes. But I'm in a much better place now. We've all grown up. I'm sorry I was so despicable. I'm thankful though that you loved me through it all. I miss you. And I love you. But most importantly, I'm sorry Bailey. I hope you can forgive me.