Here I sit again regretting,
Another disheartening day,
Where my untrusting nature.
Has pushed yet another away.

And I am nothing but a coward,
I have come to realize,
Bartering courage for a safety,
That I have come to despise.

I always hold back a certain something,
and grip it quite close inside,
Some part of me, and sometimes many,
Historically.. all of my pride.

So when I hear the words goodbye,
My salvation, though ever so small,
Is being able to convince myself,
That they never really knew me at all.

My own personal defense mechanism,
That has kept me right out of harms' way.
That no one has tried to break through,
No one thought I was worth it..... anyway.

At times I am sure that my logic,
Has caused me pain that is double,
And wish I could just be naive again,
Instead of just too much **** trouble.