DJT:
I want to buy Greenland.
Hey, this is fun!
I will turn the island into
State fifty-one.
They say ice is melting.
Bah! That’s okay.
When you mine and drill on the land,
Ice gets in the way.

I am going to buy Greenland.
You just wait and see.
I dare anybody
To say "NO!" to me.
I can’t wait to get my
Hands on all that gold,
Oil, copper, lead, and zinc.
I WON’T be undersold.

I plan to buy Greenland
With all its wolves and seals
And polar bears and penguins.
I’m so good at deals.
Polar bears will make terrific
Rugs. I don't care!
What? You say there are no penguins?
I will bring some there.

So I want to buy Greenland.
Is THAT unorthodox?
It should be so easy;
You know money talks.
Tell me: how could there be
Objections to my plan?
The whole world loves me;
I’m their favorite man.

I am buying Greenland.
I'm sure you've heard reports.
I'll construct my tower AND
I'll build some big resorts.
Greenlanders will love being
Part of my domain.
If anybody loses here,
Their loss will be my gain.

I can’t wait to buy Greenland.
This is not a ruse.
I’ll give them an offer--
One they can’t refuse.
If the Danes say "No," I'll
Do what I've done before:
I'll just have to start another
Blasted tariff war.

I want to buy Greenland,
Greenland,
Greenland….

-by Bob (8-24-19)