Aug 2019
Hi, my name is Brian Allan
And I was an alcoholic
I wanted to show myself
More important than I actually was
I went into every club
Wanting beer and getting drunk
And I wanted to party
I still now want to party in some ways
Or another
But back then I was getting kicked out of clubs for being drunk and disorderly
I know I loved life back then
But I pretended to be the boss of a tv Station called AAA
I used to be in squabbles with my family because they refused to
Play with me
But they were living in the real world
Thinking it was crazy to still be living
In a makebelieve world in my house
I used to have a messy house
I tried to make my house a party house
By putting empty beer bottles around the house
And when people came over to get drunk with me I would stand my ground
I used to get bullied and teased and fought just because I had a weird way of loving life
I went out at night to Las Vegas pub in Canberra and blind beggars inn Canberra
I was an awful person
I nearly got killed or punched for speaking my mind
I hung around the city all night
Nothing bad happened but if i did that again
The situation wouldn’t be as rosy
I felt people treated me like a koomarri to muck around with
And sometimes bully
I stopped doing that in 2004 despite having an alright time dancing
But I was with the people that teased me back then
So I said, I want out
But it was hard because I like to have a good time but I had to grow up
Cause I was showing no signs of my purpose in life which is I want to have fun doing what I want but I must say
Within reason because deep down I hated the people who teased and bullied me back then
When I was first was an artist I toasted my art with champagne but
I was getting tippsy and I stopped doing that because I went to the psych ward I went to the psych ward twice in 2004 and 2013 for having weird dillusions probably because of all the alcohol I drank
I express myself in art and writing
And my new purpose in life is learn performance art so I can fit into society
I still hear those voices of who bullied and teased me back then but not like back then, those voices are not true
I hear about other people get bullied like I did and it forces them to end their life but not me, I loved life too much to want to end it, mind you the thought of death used to scare me, it still does despite me knowing I will come back to another life
But I don’t want to finish this life
I nearly got caught into taking drugs
I gave him $20 and sat there waiting for him
But I got bored of being in there so I left
And I got teased by him ever since but
Then it stopped because I showed no weakness
You see saying all this doesn’t make me weak it makes me strong
Saying all the trouble I caused whilst
Trying to party hard
People are talking to me now
So I don’t want to live in the past
My name is Brian and I was an alcoholic but not anymore
And I was an alcoholic
I wanted to show myself
More important than I actually was
I went into every club
Wanting beer and getting drunk
And I wanted to party
I still now want to party in some ways
Or another
But back then I was getting kicked out of clubs for being drunk and disorderly
I know I loved life back then
But I pretended to be the boss of a tv Station called AAA
I used to be in squabbles with my family because they refused to
Play with me
But they were living in the real world
Thinking it was crazy to still be living
In a makebelieve world in my house
I used to have a messy house
I tried to make my house a party house
By putting empty beer bottles around the house
And when people came over to get drunk with me I would stand my ground
I used to get bullied and teased and fought just because I had a weird way of loving life
I went out at night to Las Vegas pub in Canberra and blind beggars inn Canberra
I was an awful person
I nearly got killed or punched for speaking my mind
I hung around the city all night
Nothing bad happened but if i did that again
The situation wouldn’t be as rosy
I felt people treated me like a koomarri to muck around with
And sometimes bully
I stopped doing that in 2004 despite having an alright time dancing
But I was with the people that teased me back then
So I said, I want out
But it was hard because I like to have a good time but I had to grow up
Cause I was showing no signs of my purpose in life which is I want to have fun doing what I want but I must say
Within reason because deep down I hated the people who teased and bullied me back then
When I was first was an artist I toasted my art with champagne but
I was getting tippsy and I stopped doing that because I went to the psych ward I went to the psych ward twice in 2004 and 2013 for having weird dillusions probably because of all the alcohol I drank
I express myself in art and writing
And my new purpose in life is learn performance art so I can fit into society
I still hear those voices of who bullied and teased me back then but not like back then, those voices are not true
I hear about other people get bullied like I did and it forces them to end their life but not me, I loved life too much to want to end it, mind you the thought of death used to scare me, it still does despite me knowing I will come back to another life
But I don’t want to finish this life
I nearly got caught into taking drugs
I gave him $20 and sat there waiting for him
But I got bored of being in there so I left
And I got teased by him ever since but
Then it stopped because I showed no weakness
You see saying all this doesn’t make me weak it makes me strong
Saying all the trouble I caused whilst
Trying to party hard
People are talking to me now
So I don’t want to live in the past
My name is Brian and I was an alcoholic but not anymore
