The one who disturbs me in more ways I would like to admit to the world
To my own psychologist even
The one who disturbs my sleep
Real sleep, the kind with no dreams, or nightmares night after night
The one responsible for unexplained aches, full time confusion and a type of pain
I think it is in my head somewhere and refuses to subside
Pills, creams, therapy, potions, elixirs nothing has worked
I do not know how to keep quiet
I do not know how much longer I can continue to carry the weight of this mask
Scrape off the unhappiness and longing and replace it with a fresh smile every single day
Flutter these mascara filled lashes and look at what the world wants to me too see
But I don't really see it
You know what I mean?
It is just one act after another
You ****** away at my happiness
Every day without fail
When something good finally happens I end up feeling guilty
Like it should not be happening to me
You bask in my sadness and grief
You laugh at my frustration
You draw strength from my anger and bitterness
You tsk away at my sensitivity
You roll your eyes at my empathy

But you still refuse to go away