The cursor blinks at me,
A white screen
Staring
Waiting for my emotions to fill it
To the brim
Overflowing with emotion

And I’m not sure I am ready to let that out of my heart
It has become too much a part of me
And I’m afraid if I let it go
If I let one tear fall
One drop brushed away

I’ll lose it all
Every experience
Every moment

And I can’t bear to lose you
Not yet
Which is why I have to stop typing this poem
Now

And my insides are screaming for the release
And I don’t know if I can even stop typing
And I don’t know what my life will be without this
If I could freeze everything
I would
Without hesitation
If I could give up my future
To just spend forever in today
I would

But weeks will pass
And soon we will all be gone our separate ways
And I can’t let you go.
Not yet.

And I’m so afraid I will let it out
And as soon as I let go of the pain
This moment will be gone
And only an echo of laughter will remain
Until I again am complacent
And content
And even though I know in that moment I’ll truly believe it is all for the best
I can’t imagine anything more tragic
Then the moment I let myself forget what happiness has felt like.
Which is why I will never write the poem
Screaming to escape.