.
pardon my ignorance
i should've known better
but i thought i should at least try

but people always fail me
and it's made it harder to get out
of my shell each time

im damaged
and it ***** that i doubt
eveything in my life

but its not exactly my fault
its just that once i lose my focus
i can't just fall back into line

i can't go back
to how the way things were
i cant pretend i'm fine

i can't justify
ghosting you with out explaining
but i'm not ready to speak my mind

how do you tell someone
that being around them
is like feeling second best all the time

i love you to death
but i can't be you're sometimes friend
not this time

i feel like im lying
not only to you
but like whole relationship is a lie

i womder if i asked you about me
what you'd say
like you even listened or tried

it's wrong to just doubt you
but i feel it in my gut
i'm insignificant in your life
.
.
but i made you my whole world
my sun and my stars
i laid out a path
made of shards
from each time
it broke my heart
to make you smile
i tore my self apart
but that is
the way things are
you never wanted me
not from the start
you won't even miss me
but i'll reminisce from afar
trying to be your light
left me alone in the dark
.
.
but does it really matter
at all in the end
peace of mind
in exchange for a lousy friend
i cant decide
i hate to do this again
i cant believe i let you
get under my skin
i give up on trying
its too much work to put in
.
.
i hate you for making me feel this way
but you'll never know because you're indifferent to my pain