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Aug 2019
There is no easy way of telling you that I am scared. I'm scared, you will get tired of my over texting you at night because nights are my loneliest hours. Scared that maybe sometimes I tend to come off a little aggressive or that I can be a little pessimistic. A part of me fears that me needing a little more reassurance will make you think I'm being too clingy. Or when I am being a little clingy you will start to doubt us. I fear all of those. But what I fear most, is the fact that sometimes I am the one that might start to doubt... I'm the one that might get spooked once you start getting a little clingy. I dream of the day that we can say to one another "I love you" but at the same time, thinking of the day when you say "I love you" makes me feel as if I should start backing away, slowly. For as much as I crave intimacy, It scares me. Thinking of me in your arms is almost like a dream... but at the same time. It's like it could be a nightmare. I know why I am like this, I know why I am so scared of everything. Just please don't remind me why I am so broken, because then I may cry. I know this may be confusing, but with you, it feels different. it feels like I one day might be able to face these fears... and finally, be at peace with one of the many demons that haunt me.
Mallory
Written by
Mallory  Androgyne
(Androgyne)   
114
 
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