if by chance I succumb to the rotting in my soul
perhaps think of me as a child
the only time I was not running away from myself  
I was enough and whole and days were never long enough
I was a cloud and the sun was my first love
bleeding yellow into my fuzzy outlines
excitement painted my world so often it was the only color I knew
memorized the beat of my own heart
took it upon myself to do right by me
but people came between me and myself
and things have never been the same