I sat in bed
Hadn't taken meds
Hadn't gotten under covers
Hadn't plugged in phone

Then I noticed I was opening the drawer
Fingers snatched up something silver
Cap torn off

As if it wasn't me
My hand started testing it
Without thought
Without plan
Just a little dance around my fingers

Took off the outer layer easily
A bit too easily
So the possessed hand moved lower
To the tantalizingly soft, thin flesh
To the terribly poetic wrist

Avoided the large blue vein
I'm not stupid
So the blade moved around a bit
Testing angles, pressures

But the tip had found its mark
Gentle pressure and a tweak
Slowly so I could feel the skin break

Not enough
Barely made contact
Again! Same spot!
Continue digging

then i saw it
between broken flesh
a tiny, delicate stream
it filled in the gap
squeezed a bit
to see if it would offer more
but no....

mY miNd wEnt wilD!!!

aS iT reEntereD cOnsciOUsnesS

adrEnalinE RusHinG

w  h      a        t        d  i     d          y      o  u          d     o  .     .    .          ?

Throw the wretched blade in the drawer!
Close it so **** fast

Okay... okay.... get up
It's over there... put the cream on it
Hopefully won't get infected

Ah  a     h   a                m      I         N      d         i  SSSSSssss    

WWWW         IIIIIIIII               LLLLLLL              DDDDDDD

you cleaned it. it's gone. can't see it even.
it's fine. you're fine. take your meds. get under cover.
plug in phone. you'll be fine. it's fine. IT'S FINE.



wait. what's that?



it stings.