I keep feeling the empty feeling. I don't know how to control it anymore. It drags me down and I just can't take it much longer. More scars are showing up. What if people start to notice them? I have to hide my arms already. One friend has already pointed out little marks on my arm. They know what it is. What if it keeps getting worse? I'm not going to be able to take this anymore real soon. I'm already fading out of exsistence. I pushed away everyone. I don't know how much longer that I am going to try anymore. I'm closing off more and more. I'm dying on the inside and it is bringing pain on the outside. Surprisingly I can't feel all the pain anymore. I can't feel when my nails dig into my skin. The feeling is so numb. How come I even have to deal with this? Death thoughts are getting worse in my head. I deserve the worst things ever. I'm worse than anyone could imagine. I have lost my old self. I'm not good anymore. I was never good in the first place, but now I'm even worse than I ever was. I am gonna have to leave, soon. I'm sorry that I am not good enough. I just wish I could be a better person. I don't see why anyone would ever be around me. I just hate everything about myself. I am never going to like a thing about me. I'm never going to be good enough. I was a mistake. I still am a mistake. My depression is going to take me over. It has already begun. I'm slowly isolating myself. It makes everything more damaging to others than myself. They don't know why I keep doing this. I don't understand myself either. I'm losing interest in everything I do now. I don't want to move. I'm wanting to eat less and less. My self-esteem is lowering way more. I'm not sure what I am going to do anymore. Please, just take me out of this life. I am not needed here. I'm just a giant waste of space. It would be better for everyone to just give up on me. Please, let me **** myself. It would be so much better for everyone. I'm wasting everyone's time. I shouldn't have been born. I'm not wanted here. I really wish I had blades again. There was a point where I didn't need them. Now I don't see the point in life. I can't feel the pain from my nails. I just can't keep hurting people anymore by my presence. I'm too loud or too quiet. There is no in between. I'm too mean to everyone. I shouldn't think about myself. I'm too self centered. I'm fat and ugly. I am not talented. Never have been. I cause my own friends to go into depression. I bring out everyone's bad side. I'm never going to be a good person. I'm so sorry that I am such a disappointment. I realized that there is no hope for me. It would be better for everyone else if they walked out my life and never look back. I can't even laugh without it making me feel worse about myself. I just should've never been born. I shouldn't have came into Abby's life. I have made her worse. I made her feel unloved, mistreated, and everything she should never feel. I'm not good enough of a friend to get over how I feel and be happy. I'm a lost cause. This is all my fault. She thought she could change me. Everyone thinks that they can change and help me. There is no help. I'm so far gone. I'm never going to get out of depression. It is always going to drag me down. I'm not strong enough to handle things anymore. I'm tired of always feeling alone in the darkness of my mind and body. I lost one person that was making me even semi-happy. Ever since the day I gave away some happiness I could've used, I have been alittle more broken. How many times until I break so much that I will never be fixed again. How much more pain do I have to go through? Please, just make it all end right now. I don't know if I can take more pain.