Some folks are descendants
Of Hamilton or Grant.
They can proudly boast,
While there are some who can't.
Well, I have the honor--
You will plainly see
That "honor" here is used
Quite sarcastically--

Of being a descendant
Of one with dubious fame.
In case you wonder, John
Billington was his name.
Ten years after his
Arrival in the year
1620, he
Was executed here.

Hey, Johnny!
Whaddya say?
Why’d you have to
Die that way?
You had to push
The envelope
To end up hanging
From a rope.

The Mayflower was
His means of transportation.
Fleeing debt, he hoped
To rise above his station.
His wife and two young sons
Joined him on the trip.
One mischievous son
Almost blew up the ship.

His son was thinking, "Hey,
This is loads of fun!"
While he played around
With his father's gun.
Stupidly, he put
The whole ship in peril
When he fired a shot
Near a gunpowder barrel.

John Billington was
Always in a jam.
About propriety
He didn't give a ****.
I guess he thought he was
A wise and clever chap.
But he should have known
When to shut his trap.

Hey, Johnny!
Whaddya say?
Why’d you have to
Die that way?
You had to push
The envelope
To end up hanging
From a rope.

A quarrel with a neighbor,
John Newcomen, led
John Billington to
Completely lose his head.
Billington shot Newcomen,
Who shortly thereafter died.
Two juries called it
An act of homicide.

There was no escaping
Punishment this time.
Billington was forced
To pay for his crime.
Fortunately, even
Though this story's grim,
I can proudly say
I don't take after him!

Hey, Johnny!
Whaddya say?
Why’d you have to
Die that way?
You had to push
The envelope
To end up hanging
From a rope.
Hanging from a rope!

-by Bob B (6-29-29)