I had to unravel
I had to break down piece by ******* piece
Tear down those rigid walls
Forgo those tight knit bridges
And plummet into my own abyss
Wake up unrecognizable
Welcome the hatred for the person id become
Feel the terror of being outside myself
Bare, raw, uncut
Against all my moral beliefs
I created this tormented shell of a woman
And demanding of her what I could not demand of myself
Bone dry honesty
And I got, I ******* got it
It tore the earth from my feet
The foundation I had relied on
And being someone else, I saw me
In true form
Who I once was, and I was enlightened
She was strong and proud
Honest and unwavering
I admired her courage
But I am no longer her
Now, in my pit
My rock ******* bottom
I know who I was
Who I can be again
And the smallest glimmer of hope shines through
The self-hatred and hopelessness
I will get back to you